Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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