I am in a vortex of obligation.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
