It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
