I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
