I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
