would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
