Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
