i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
