I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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