Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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