i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
