allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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