After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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