note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
