chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
