Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
