theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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