ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
there was a trapeze. enough said
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
