And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
