Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
