Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
