God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
