I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Someone signed my nipple.
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