haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
