No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
