I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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