i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
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