tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
