I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
