I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
