lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
