As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
