S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
