The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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