Welp...herpes.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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