I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Randomize
