We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
