erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
someone owes me an orgasm
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
