Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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