all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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