dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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