there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
