Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
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