It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
