So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
