Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
