My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
you would pick up someone in the library
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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