I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
