I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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