He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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